You know Chris and Liz. You’re on their freakin’ wedding website! COME ON! (They’re Rocket and Groot if they fell in love an’ stuff.)

Marius is Liz and Chris’ son. If you didn’t know that you probably shouldn’t be on this website. Why did we invite you?!? Heheh just kiddin’. Marius is a vegetarian, is passionate about social justice, and knows just about every rock song that ever existed. If you hang out with him too long he’ll try to get you to wrestle him to Roman Reigns’ theme song. He gets his sense of humor from his mom (oh no) and his technology skills from his dad (oh yes).

Brianne is Liz’s sister. As children, they spent many years beating each other up until they realized as adults that they would rather not do time for assault, but then continued to do so for several more years anyway. Brianne and Liz had lots of fun visiting the set of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and going to Walt Disney World as kids together. Brianne is the Head of Global Events for a FinTech firm, and an amazing aunt to Marius. Brianne is a big supporter of progressive causes that make the world a much better place. She is married to wedding party member Daniel. She loves bananas and ferrets.

Atiba (aka AT-AT) is a comedian, actor, dancer, drummer, wrestler, martial artist and co-producer of For Realsies! Comedy Show. That's right- he is a septuple threat! Liz and Atiba have offended hundreds of people at zoos, trespassed in museums in attempts to see closed exhibits of endangered animals, and idioted their way onto the red carpet to accidentally run into Bruce Willis (true story). They bonded over their common love of the thylacine. Atiba, Chris, Liz, and Rob are members of the infamous ThunderDome chat. You may have seen Atiba in many television shows and movies like The Dark Knight.

Daniel is Liz’s brother-in-law and Brianne’s husband. He is a VP of a software company. He collects watches and is a great photographer. He’s a super fun uncle to Marius. Daniel was the creative force behind the ever popular TOTW mailing list (please ask him what it stands for at the wedding). He is an expert at using Lysol. Please ask him about that, too. Supposedly Liz bit Daniel the first time she met him and even though Liz doesn’t remember that, it’s probably true because I mean she’s bitten pretty much everyone.

Evan is a comedian and producer. He is the Drax to Liz’s Rocket. One time he led like a zillion people in a torrential rainstorm through NYC and they followed him because he’s that funny and also he probably can bench a lot so what are they gonna do about it? He goes out to vegan food with Chris and Liz even though he’s not vegan. He’s a big deal. Ask him about the WB’s Arrow TV series and he’ll be your friend for life.

Nick (aka Tiny Nick) is a software engineer and founding member of the 78 Club. He works for a major American car manufacturer, but owns and drives a tiny Volkswagen. Chris asked him about it and he said they won't let him park next to the main building and that he has to park far away in a separate lot, which is hilarious. He loves tiny dogs (dachshunds) and wishes that he was Spider-Man. If you have any chairs (tiny or regular) that need to be assembled, he'll do it for you because he really really loves assembling chairs. Chris and Nick used to work together, but now they mostly spend time piloting giant robots in battle. Also, he is a traitor who moved away from New Jersey to live in the tiniest state (Texas).

Rob is a comedian and actor. Rob and Liz have spent many hours walking around NYC making everyone uncomfortable with dares and unbearably long karaoke songs. Rob, Chris, Liz, and Marius have visited Farm Sanctuary and have gone ghost hunting together. We all enjoyed birdwatching at the Cornell Lab of Ornithology until we were removed from the premises because Rob was snatching hummingbirds out of the air and eating them like popcorn. Rob, Chris, Liz, and Atiba are members of the infamous ThunderDome chat. Rob spends his free time being a Cameron Grimes impersonator. He definitely can see the alien.

Robin is a software engineer, pun artisan, and a founding member of the 78 Club. One time she told a pun that was so horrendous, a baby punched her in the face. Chris and Robin have had many adventures investigating old haunted mansions, stacking odd-shaped blocks as quickly as possible, mining for precious minerals in the bowels of Hoxxes IV, and drinking too much at TGI Fridays. Seriously, don't ask Robin to make a pun, you will immediately regret it.

Soobin and Liz attended high school together at Bergen County Academies as wee little gothlings. Soobin has a master's degree in mathematics and teaches. If you are a jerk to her, she will cut you or run you over. Soobin likes playing the video games. She’s married to fellow high school classmate Matt and is a super great mother to the adorbs Seth.

Stacey is a comedian, actress, model, public speaker, and the Libertarian Party candidate in the 2021 NYC mayoral election. You’ve heard her on the radio and seen her in movies. Liz and Chris have, too. Except we get to hear her on our phones and stuff. We’re sorry that you don’t. You’re probably less cooler because of that. She just doesn’t have that kind of time. Like the couple, Stacey is a vegetarian. That means she loves animals more than you do, which means she’s just a better person than you are. Sorry, but that’s how it works.

Xi (aka Iron Xi) and Liz went to high school at Bergen County Academies together. Liz was just as obnoxious then as she is now, yet Xi loved her anyway. Xi has a master's degree and is a managing director of a real estate private equity firm. She can recite every line from Dawson’s Creek. She is the wife of Jesson and awesome mom to Hudson. She can defeat you in battle. Xi will be playing the role of Indiana Jones (but cooler) in the new movie.

Joanne is Liz’s mama. She’s the reason why Liz got to miss school sometimes to go to rock concerts and that’s pretty much the best thing ever. Joanne also let Liz keep, like, allllllll the animals in her house while Liz was growing up. Joanne watches wrestling with Liz, Chris, and Marius “to be supportive” (we know she secretly loves it). She is a former teacher and a current awesome nana to Marius. She can be seen walking around with her hairless dog Big Boy.

Christine is Chris' mom. Chris received his science-based brain and engineering aptitude from her, and as a result she will actually be the one to blame when Chris takes over the world by constructing an Iron Man suit. She is a court appointed special advocate for foster children. Christine is retired, so naturally she is constantly busy, yet she still finds time to enjoy going to the dog park with her puppy P.T. and being a loving grandmother to Marius and Rowan.

Chick is Chris' dad and a wonderful grandfather to Marius. He is a retired clinical project director. He taught Chris how to play backgammon and ping-pong, and remains largely undefeated at both. Despite what he will tell you, he is a talented musician and can play the guitar, banjo, and ukulele, and sing at the same time. Well to be clear, just one instrument and singing. Playing all three instruments and singing at the same time would be incredible, though! Maybe you should start practicing, Dad...

Long time friend and roommate of the couple, Hannibal will be with us in spirit. Unfortunately, he is tied up and cannot attend. He regrets missing all of you for dinner.